Unfiltered

A lot of the things that come out of my mouth are unfiltered and raw.  I was always told in Spanish “Marissa no tiene pelos en la boca” meaning “Marissa doesn’t have hair in her mouth”.  Well that unfiltered mouth has spoken countless words that has brought offense.  Why do I bring this up?  Because we are living in a time that we are offended by every post or action that opposes ours.  We believe we have the right answer to every situation and yet we cannot even get our own lives in order.  I have spent these past few months dealing with my rampant emotions while trying to maintain a positive outlook in life.  I am in what I call a transition phase where I am moving into the next career and life decision for the future.  I have been given the opportunity to collectively dig deep into my past with out letting it to continue to affect my future.  I am learning from my past mistakes and dealing with my past hurts.  So, I can say that I am finally growing up and moving forward from the very things that have held me back.  That part of myself that I am letting the noise take a backseat as I move forward in a new direction.

In this process I have listened to several audiobooks which most suggest one dig deep, deal with the emotion, let it go; set goals, develop a routine and keep pushing.  So far Work it Out, 5 AM Club and Girl Wash Your Face have been where I started.  So here I am behind the computer laying it all out to help encourage you to watch your words, remove the offense and create the life you want to live.  In the process you will be the change that others hope to inspire to be.

Here are a few quoted to get you started:

“Live your life as the CEO of it! You are the only one responsible for your success or failure. Chose Success! -Unknown

“She listened to where God lead her and despite what conventional thinking said she trusted and went into uncertain spaces because the fruit of that uncertain tree is unbelievable better tasting.” Dave Hollis

“Find the truth that speaks in opposition to the lies.”-Unknown

“Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.”  Psalms 34:8 NIV Bible

XOXO,

Marissa

Be the Change You Want to See

God spoke creation into existence and by his words we live.  Scripture says that words spoken bring life and death. So why was I accepting those negative words spoken over my life?  Why was I allowing them to shape who I was?  This was not the plan that God had for my life.  He did not want me to be dependent and effected by the words and labels many were placing upon me.  I am reminding of the famous words yelled in the playgrounds as bullies made up things then speaking ugly words of those they targeted as the others stood around laughing.  "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words had never hurt me" was the usual response of those who were bullied.  All the while somewhere down the line in life those words carried weight and whether it made one wounded it also made another one stronger.  Those memories are imbedded into a part of our lives that the circumstance of the experience left an impact.  Why was is it that as we move into adulthood the same bully tactics and negative words are spoken when we are threaten by others?  The result of those words impact those we speak negative about yet provides a false sense of security to the bully. Why is it that girlfriends betray those the claim to care for by commenting negative words behind ones back?  There is a lot to learn about the impact of our words and the weight they carry.  So, in this process of self-discovery of who I was called to be I must search deep and ask for forgiveness over those words, betrayals and bully tactics.  See I want to make a positive impact in the lives of those I encounter I want to demonstrate the love of God and all the promises he has.  Will you join me in walking out your own self-discovery, search deep and if change is needed make the adjustment?  I can guarantee you will feel better for it and the peace it brings is liberating.

Until You Deal with Your Mess You Can't Fully Recover

My heart goes out to the addict struggling to find their way out of addiction.  The wounds that hurt so deep that all they desire is to numb the pain. Watching someone you love and care for struggling to find peace has been one of the most difficult things I have experieced.  Trying to understand that life can seem so difficult at times that to the addict that all they want to do escape. There came a point that the decision to allow him to walk this journey alone was all I could do.  I decided and placed him into the hands of God. Was if difficult? No doubt but being codependent wasn't helping and in the process, I was losing myself.  Every circumstance and situation have an impact in one's life. Choosing to let go was the only option for me to fully trust God to bring healing to us both. Let me encourage you that there is freedom in Christ.  That in every obstacle you face he will strengthen you to overcome. It literly taking up the cross for the day as you jourey on in life. 

Spoons

Spoons

I searched the kitchen cabinets

I searched the bedrooms, but no spoons could be found

Missing spoons where were they

Could not grow feet to walk away

Months went by until I found 1 spoon

Hidden in the corner of the garage black, smoldered, burnt

Then something flickered like a light bulb in my head

My addict turned to crack

Crack ……………

My heart was broken for the addict

My mind raced with questions

So, I threw the spoon and others throughout the weeks

 I wrestled with approaching the situation

Until one day I did and surprised with the response

How could he not talk to me before he decided to go that route

What demons did he wrestle that he needed to escape?

I prayed in the garage and he migrated to the laundry room

Prayed in the laundry room

He migrated to the bathroom

I prayed in the bathroom

His plan was to migrate to the bedroom closet

I drew the line and prayed him away asking God to take care of what I could not

He Speaks

Recreating oneself at 44 is one of the most humbling yet exhilarating places to be.  I am literally given the opportunity to redefine and create who I was made to be.  I am blessed because by the grace of God what seemed like a setback in my career was the launching pad into a greater future.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, "for I knows the plans and thoughts I have for you, says the Lord, plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."  None the less that hope was tested and tried on many levels.  I ended a relationship, lost a job and although I had hope; my peace was rocked with the stress of finances.  In the process I cried out to God numerous times, yet he reassured me that his promises where in abundance of financial blessings.  See he is the creator of all things including the treasures of this world.  His word says he will give stored up treasure Proverbs 13:22 "a good man leveth an inheritance to his children's children, and the wealth of the sinner is stored up for (the hands of) the righteous."  He is about to release that stored up wealth and I am ready to receive it. This blessing is not for me to store but to steward Titus 1:7 "For the overseer, as God's steward, must be blameless, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not violent, not greedy for dishonest gain (but financially ethical).  See in the process of the setback for the set up I had to reevaluate who I was.  I was called a terroristic threat and the work I put in was not valued.  Being proud of my accomplishment to get to the level I was at took a toll.  But I was reminded that my rewards come from a higher place and has me seated by his right side in his kingdom courts.  Colossians 3:1 "Therefore if you have been raised with Christ to a new life, sharing in His resurrection from the dead), keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God."  What I seek is a seal of approval over all things in my life. I used to live a reckless, carefree, and very independent life.  Having to surrender it all with learning to trust that just maybe he has greater.  See everyone says they have faith but until you are tested you truly know the measure of the faith.  Perhaps that is why he says we carry faith the size of a mustard seed Luke 17:6 "And the Lord said, "If you have (confident, abiding) faith in God (even as small) as a mustard see, you could say to this mulberry tree (which  has very strong roots), Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea"; and (if the request was in agreement with the will of God) it would obeyed you.  What is he asking you during these trying times?  Is he asking you to trust, recreate and seek him for direction?  Whatever it is he is asking you believe that his promises over your life are greater than anything you dreamed or imagined.