I still remember that late morning in the kitchen floor with Nala and Toby.  I was overwhelmed with gratitude and peace for having you in my life.  I didn't realize until that moment how stressed I had been  the prior months prior leading to that moment due to finances and provision.  But after a email and a deposit to my account I knew that your hand had provided for my every need. Even after receiving a word of encouragement and a promise a few months prior I hadn't fully come to the understanding of what you were wanting to accomplish in my life.  I am still trying to figure it out and although they are moments I stray I am rerouted back to you.  My faith, trust and understanding of what lies ahead depends on which journey I am to embark.  It's easy to live life with out care or relationship with God.  It is a choice of will and that was giving freely by you for us to chose.  Most of my life I had wavered and sat at the crossroad trailing off the road less traveled and jumping into the highway of hell.  Life has had its fair share of goodness and bad moments but in the thick of it all you have always been there.  You have pulled me out of despaired moments, healed wounds of brokenness and allowed me to find a way to forgive those that took advantage and abused me.  It was a healing process and one that forgiveness allowed me to truly be free from the victim mentally.  Have there been times I question and get angry over a past unpleasant situation most defiantly but I have also learned that I am no longer in that moment in time.  I am not in that situation and I am not the same person.  I am stronger, more resilient and have found strength to overcome.  I am a warrior, a voice of understanding, and what lies ahead in my future is a pillar of hope for a brighter tomorrow.  It was in the silence, the struggle and the searching I found you.  When I reflect on it all there was never a moment where you were never present.  Sometimes we question why uncomfortable situation occur and what role you played.  It wasn't until I read Coming Down the Mountain that I understood.  Freewill has its perks and it also has its destructive tendency where innocent people get hurt. Some get so damaged that they seem to feel as if the circumstance has left them beyond repair and with out hope.  But until we realize who you are and where you stand can we heal.  Your word says "He heals the wounds of every shattered heart". 

The Journey is Just Beginning

It's ok to take a moment in time to sit, reevaluate, and reinvent oneself.  I have been on a journey and because of my fear of failure and insecurity I have seclude myself and stopped living. Having gone through a pandemic that closed us off from the world and daily activates along with some form of human contact for those of us who are single has in fact been difficult.  From the beginning of it in 2020 and going into 6 months of 2021 its been one hell of a journey.  The world stopped for a brief moment and what seemed normal no longer existed.  We became desensitized by the media, politicians and organization that were to keep us in a state of calmness only causing more chaos as society as we once knew it changed. I changed and so have many others close to me. What once was important and of value to me no longer was to be measured the same.  In the process I put my trust and faith in God. He has provided for each and everyone of my needs.  For a brief moment I lost myself to the point that a plan was in place but the execution was stopped.  Because for a moment I allowed the overwhelming voices in my mind to over take the truth of what truly was important.  Life was important but not just life; but living it to the fullest capacity.  Family, friends and relationships were also vital but the top of the list was appreciation for relationship and connection with my creator. The word of God says that the enemy comes like a thief in the night to come kill, steal and destroy.  I had to get prospective and be honest about my emotions then allow the truth to set in and to set me free.  That truth says I was created for more, that I have a purpose and plan to live out.  So here I am starting the journey with one step of faith to a brighter, bigger, future.